Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I forget how to act sober
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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