You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize