he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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