i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
