She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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