i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize