This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
