i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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