I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Randomize
