We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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