your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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