My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
