Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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