so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
