How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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