It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
