Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
