He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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