I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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