I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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