Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
