nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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