So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
