Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
