Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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