Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
