I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
