Fuck appropriateness.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize