apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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