I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
