You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
