Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
