I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
