I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The air was thick with penises
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
