We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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