Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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