It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
