Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
