WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
