Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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