Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
