there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
this just has baby written all over it
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Randomize
