Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
