she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I wish you could order shots online.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize