Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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