This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
