the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Tell her she can't have a vagina
he puts the penis in happiness.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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