I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
