he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
