Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
