It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
