This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize