Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
