I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
