We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
