she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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