I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
