can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
