I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
