dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
